Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are
19 Thursday Jan 2012
Previous articles
Making of Martinez: The Kosher Rican
The power is out. The manager’s office is the perfect place to commit a murder. Matthew feels awkward, hoping to …
I Can’t Save Your Life Redux
Dear Michael, I happened upon your amazing post tonight. I wanted to contact you to say “thank you” and …
My Success At Failure
I fear a lot of things. Some of them are obscure and weird. For example, I ate Lobster last night. …
Book of Job Chapter 1: Loving Kindness Meditation for Motherfuckers
Free at 23 It was the summer of Arab Spring where a few thousand Western Jerk offs claimed responsibility for …
The Anniversary of My Mental Breakdown and the Things We Can’t Replace
You ever wonder where you are going to be in five years? If you are like me you don’t have …
Waking Up And the Problems of Pregnant Pornography
It’s been a long time since we last spoke. My facial hair is deep and my voice crackles with my …
Scared to Death of Cops and Other Terrible Headlines
Correction: Apparently the man who died was in fact a 45 year old man who resembled an old man. Apparently …
Family Portrait for the Nanster
This poem was originally titled poem for a beautiful midget But that isn’t exactly accurate, is it She was an …
Flight of the Alacorn #2
December 10th, 2009 “Ocean sounds?” asks my girlfriend, looking like a princess in her polar bear sweatshirt and flannel pajama …
Flight of the Alacorn #1
By Kayla Layes December 6th, 2009 The first thing I see when I wake up is my girlfriend in Unicorn …
Seeds of Doubt by Chris Benjamin
I have been asking talented Canadian writers to do guest posts on the blog about their 20s and Chris Benjamin …
Never Land: The Life of My Hispanic Rap Star Brother Josh Martinez
A small child dances awkwardly–legs too short for much in the way of swagger. Off to the right The Chicharones …
Just Desserts: A Dish for Douchebags
You are probably wondering why the hell you should care that I’m eating a cupcake? Have I gone …
Apocalypse Affirmer: Ashford Titley Explains how Judgement Day will Help Jobsearchers
As you may or may not have noticed I’ve opened up the Colony of Losers to guest posts. Two great …
Call Center Hell: The Final 5
Illustration by Rebecca Hanson In the winter of 2007 my time was split between the call center and playing open …
A Night With “Eugene Levy”: Complicated Compassion for a Crackhead
My conversation companion and I are talking quite heatedly about nothing. The purpose of the discussion is to distract him …
